ATTITUDE RECONSTRUCTION: A BLUEPRINT FOR BUILDING A BETTER LIFE
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Sadness

Sadness

Feeling heavy and deflated in our bodies and sinking easily into thinking, “I’m not okay” are hallmarks of sadness. Sadness comes when experiencing hurts or losses, or because we are entertaining destructive thoughts about ourselves. Hurts and losses include death of a loved one, disparaging remarks, being fired, losing our home, feeling betrayed, or being misunderstood. Negative thoughts about ourselves tell us that we are unworthy, need other people to approve of us, need to be and do better, or are small, hopeless, and helpless.

When young children cry, there are no words. They’re expressing their emotions cleanly. They sob. They bawl. And afterwards? They return to their present, happy, curious, loving selves. We need to follow their lead.

To dissolve sadness, you’ve got to start crying cleanly. Through the crocodile tears, you must doggedly interrupt negative thoughts or state something like “It’s okay that I feel sad. It’s okay to cry. I’m fine.” Just sob, wail, and let it out.

When Unhappy, Feeling Sad or Blue

If you are crying about specific hurts or losses let the tears flow. However, if you’re just feeling down, it’s crucial to identify exactly what demeaning messages you’re telling yourself about yourself and find some opposing statements that are true to substitute. Repeat your phrases over and over, such as:

  • I am whole and complete.
  • I am alone, and I am connected.
  • Life is for learning. We all make mistakes.
  • I am responsible for what I think, feel, and do.
  • I can do this.

Also lavish yourself in self-appreciations to offset those crummy messages. Keep reminding yourself of what you have forgotten—that you are whole and complete, wonderful human beings.

By befriending your sadness and tears to fully process hurts and losses, and reminding yourself what’s really true about you, you’ll come to know your real worth, gain more energy, and take more personal responsibility. You’ll respect yourself more, and hear your intuition – inner knowing – more clearly. Then you can determine what’s needed to communicate in any situation, and speak up and take action on what’s best for you.

Put an End to Your Lingering Unhappiness

Confronting sadness head on is guaranteed to lift your spirits. As you practice, you’ll experience an inner lightness and realize you already possess whatever you are seeking. More joy, bliss, and ecstasy will be waiting for you. Unhappiness will disappear, and you will experience the new inspiration that comes with the joy, love and peace you desire. This is your Attitude Reconstruction.

 

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Jude Bijou, Author
Jude Bijou is a licensed marriage and family therapist, educator, author, and speaker.  Meet Jude

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Attitude Reconstruction
2012 Benjamin Franklin Award
Winner in Self-Help
2012 ForeWord Reviews
Winner in Psychology
2012 ForeWord Reviews
Winner in Self-Help
2012 International Book Award
Winner in Health: Psychology/Mental Health
2012 Nautilus Silver Award
Winner in Personal Growth/Self Help/Psychology
2012 LA Festival of Books
Winner in How To

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