Hey, Jude: When my husband and I were talking about which bills we need to pay this week, I couldn’t help but bring up all his extravagances over the last years. I knew I shouldn’t, but I did.

All of the unfinished business that comes flooding into your mind — the new car, the golf clubs, or the restaurant receipts for lunch — should be noted, but addressed at a different time. Right now, stick to the topic of which bills need to be paid this week and how much money is in the account right now. Just stay with that task and celebrate your team effort. If you lump more than one issue together, your communication will inevitably get out of hand and most likely little will get resolved.