Are you feeling discouraged from asserting yourself because everyone else seems better, older, wiser, or stronger than you? Do you feel insignificant and unimportant, playing the helpless, submissive victim who doesn’t have the right to speak your needs or ask for what you want? Have you learned to cope by blending in, keeping the peace, and not rocking the boat?
If the answer to any of these questions is “yes,” then you struggle from low self-confidence. This will create diminished self-esteem. And what is the price you pay? You focus on others thereby neglecting yourself. Instead of taking charge and asserting yourself, you acquiesce.
How to Build Self Confidence Again
You can change. The first step is to start with inner work by expressing your sadness, anger, and fear physically and constructively in a safe place. Then replace your “I’m little. I’m nothing” thinking with what is true until you truly believe you’re entitled to be on the planet as much as anyone else. Now you’ll be able to claim your personal power.
Ignore diminishing messages from others and replace self-limiting beliefs (e.g., “I’m useless,” “I can’t do anything about this”) with truths that reinforce your true worth. Repeat one or more of these phrases constantly:
- I am important. I matter.
- I’m entitled to be here.
- I can do this.
- I am responsible for my life.
- Everything will be all right.
This kind of thinking will allow you to hear inner wisdom more clearly. You’ll be better able to align your behavior with your intuition, and your convictions with your words. You will also need to learn and practice Attitude Reconstruction’s Four Rules of Communication so you can speak up about your point of view and assert yourself with specific, reasonable, and enforceable boundaries and consequences. It will be scary at first, so just shiver out the fear physically and then do it anyway.
Reconnect With Your Intuition & True Self
As you practice getting in touch with your intuition and being true to yourself, you’ll feel your personal power increase. You’ll be able to set goals and take small doable steps towards them regardless of what others think or say. You neutralize the fear when you find opposition to speaking up and do it anyway. As you step out, you’ll feel more capable and strong, and realize that honoring yourself is a higher priority than sparing others an emotional reaction.