It’s so easy to blame the outside world for what is happening to us rather than taking personal responsibility for our part in what’s unfolding / or what is. We break our leg and it’s the rough terrain’s fault. We lose our keys and someone moved them from where we left them. We’re late for a meeting and the cat threw up just as we were getting ready to leave the house. When confronted do we defend ourselves and our actions or look for our part?
Blaming and fault-finding as opposed to taking personal responsibility pervade virtually every area of our lives. It has become an epidemic! If we want to feel good about ourselves, we need to take responsibility for our actions, our words, our thoughts, our emotions, our choices, our parenting, our popularity…. It’s easy to blame a parent or our childhood for why we do or did what we did, but it misses the point. It’s not about pinpointing who is at fault. It’s about recognizing that the buck stops here.
And why do we instantaneously blame the outside world when things don’t fall our way? We’re outward focused, due to the nature of our senses which take in the outside world. This is reflected in our culture, where the media often focuses on famous people who set an example of not taking responsibility for their less than stellar behavior. But in addition, our focus automatically goes out to other people and situations when we experience anger but don’t express it constructively. In a split second, our attention jumps FROM our self, our heart, and taking responsibility for what is happening, TO pinning the fault onto other people, things, and situations.
Three Steps to Taking Personal Responsibility
1. Take an inventory and own what you did or are doing that has created your present experience. This often requires dealing with your own emotions (anger, and maybe sadness or fear) and constructively moving the emotional energy out of your body, so you can fully accept your part or mistake.
2. With this self-reflection look within to determine what needs to be said and done to start to repair the situation or relationship. Check your strategy to be sure it resonates within as the best and highest thing to do to resolve the event.
3. Follow through with action in a heartfelt and respectful manner. Being late for a meeting can usually be covered with an apology. A major transgression, such as having an affair, will require significant time, energy, patience, and understanding.
The Benefits of Taking Personal Responsibility
So you can be more conscious. So you can raise the vibration of your environment. So you can make good proactive choices, rather than being reactive. So that you can communicate clearly, lovingly, and effectively. So you can act aligned with what you know within is best. So you are in charge of the amount of joy, love, and peace you feel.
And Once You Make this Positive Change in your Life:
- You will feel your personal power – capable and strong
- You will know your own innate importance
- You will lovingly stand firm even when your truth ruffles others’ feathers
- You will speak up and do what you need to do by aligning with your heart
- You can set goals and take small doable steps to accomplish them
- You can reach out for help when needed
- You will become a lot happier and feel more connected to others and your world
Attitude Reconstruction is all about making these positive changes in how you approach life.