ATTITUDE RECONSTRUCTION: A BLUEPRINT FOR BUILDING A BETTER LIFE
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As soon as autumn comes, people’s thoughts begin to shift to the holidays, and sometimes those thoughts are accompanied by difficult feelings such as depression, frustration, and anxiety. For some, the holidays conjure up unpleasant associations, such as the first event without Grandma there, or prickly family get-togethers. Then there are financial worries, the pressure to come up with gift ideas, dealing with school kids on vacation, too many social obligations, and the list goes on.

This is my time of year because Attitude Reconstruction is all about creating joy, love, and peace. You see, my viewpoint is based on a theory that we all possess six emotions. Emotions are pure physical sensations in the body. Think about the word “emotion,” it’s E + motion = energy in motion.

Gold Christmas tree ornament with black snowflakes.

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Everywhere you look in the media, you’ll find coverage and outrage about physical assault, analysis about why partners stay in abusive relationships and why people feel justified to strike out. What you don’t see, however, are viable solutions to this widespread problem.

The news repeats images that make us cringe: Ray Rice clobbering his wife in the elevator; a man in Canada beating his dog to death and depositing it in a dumpster; a Connecticut CEO kicking and beating a dog in an elevator; Chris Brown hitting Rhianna. It’s no wonder expressing anger gets a bad rap. It can be aggressive and often abusive.

A close up of an angry man drawing his fist back.

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Attitude Reconstruction began as a Blueprint; a complete guide to our six emotions and the predictable things we think, feel, say and do as a result. I divided all behaviors associated with each emotion into four core attitudes along with their opposites. It wasn’t until years later, however, one over-arching concept emerged: three destructive Ultimate Attitudes associated with sadness, anger, and fear, and conversely, three constructive Ultimate Attitudes, associated with joy, love, and peace.

Five blue circles depicting mental attitude tools for a better life.

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It always feels good to have a personal cheerleader so I suggest you find one! It may not always happen naturally. There are all different types of friendships, and not all will be the right ones for the emotional support you seek.

There is a way to be proactive, and create a positive situation where you and someone else share a needed role for each other. Seeking support from another person might take a little courage. Maybe you’ll feel vulnerable, embarrassed, or concerned about imposing. Do it anyway.

Black solid outline of a traditional telephone handset.

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What if… One system explained, integrated, correlated all human behavior and identified the guiding force behind our thoughts, feelings, words, and actions?

The new beginning of a day with the sun rising over the mountain horizon.

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In my book we explore how to successfully conquer fear. It is a great opportunity to learn how to stop your days from being compromised by these feelings. I strongly recommend everyone who experiences fearfulness to read the successful solutions in detail.

The Attitude Reconstruction logo image in light blue color.

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My high school reunion is coming up this fall and for the occasion, a tireless classmate is putting together a “memory book.” Instead of just providing the usual details about each person, college, jobs, mate, number of children, grandchildren, etc., I suggested people write a few sentences about their greatest accomplishment — what they took from their high school years or growing up in our then little town, or a message they would like to share with their classmates. A drawing of a pretty woman with brown hair in a purple dress hugging herself.

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It’s so easy to blame the outside world for what is happening to us rather than taking personal responsibility for our part in what’s unfolding / or what is. We break our leg and it’s the rough terrain’s fault. We lose our keys and someone moved them from where we left them. We’re late for a meeting and the cat threw up just as we were getting ready to leave the house. When confronted do we defend ourselves and our actions or look for our part?

White dog standing on hind legs taking personal responsibility by sweeping up his own poop.

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Do you get in a mood and have a hard time getting out? Does your moodiness seem to descend on you for no particular reason? Do your family, moodycoworkers or friends consider you unpredictable? Do you find yourself often brooding for extended periods of time?

Moods can obscure our experience for hours, days, weeks, or even longer. Left unattended, they shape our personalities and determine the quality of our lives. We think that we have no control over our mood swings but the truth is quite the contrary. We create them with our thoughts and so we can create a different mood or dissolve the one we are in if we but chose to do so. 

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relaxing

I wish everyone a most uplifting and fulfilling coming year. For me and Attitude Reconstruction there are some shifts in the air. For one, I have decided to stop blogging twice a week at this point. (I’ll disclose others shifts as the year goes on as I think of them.) I will continue to share on a semi regular basis interesting things as the spirit moves me. Here are three articles I found quite relevant recently.

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Jude Bijou, Author
Jude Bijou is a licensed marriage and family therapist, educator, author, and speaker.  Meet Jude

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Attitude Reconstruction
2012 Benjamin Franklin Award
Winner in Self-Help
2012 ForeWord Reviews
Winner in Psychology
2012 ForeWord Reviews
Winner in Self-Help
2012 International Book Award
Winner in Health: Psychology/Mental Health
2012 Nautilus Silver Award
Winner in Personal Growth/Self Help/Psychology
2012 LA Festival of Books
Winner in How To

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