Attitude Reconstruction began as a Blueprint; a complete guide to our six emotions and the predictable things we think, feel, say and do as a result. I divided all behaviors associated with each emotion into four core attitudes along with their opposites. It wasn’t until years later, however, one over-arching concept emerged: three destructive Ultimate Attitudes associated with sadness, anger, and fear, and conversely, three constructive Ultimate Attitudes, associated with joy, love, and peace.
These constructive Ultimate Attitudes are universal concepts at the root of every major religion and philosophy. I believe that to be “enlightened” means that we are wedded to living by these three principles.
- Honor yourself. Honoring or loving ourselves means that we unequivocally know we are whole and complete. We are worthy and perfect regardless of what we do or have; we are self-reliant, full within ourselves independent of others’ opinions and judgments. We appreciate and respect ourselves, and we speak up and take action aligned with what we know is best in our hearts.
- Accept other people and situations. Accepting what is means we keep our focus on our own domain, our heart, and act from our intuition, rather than being reactive or governed by what others do, say or have. We accept what is presented with equanimity and then respond from a place of love; we appreciate and look for the good in our world; and we give without a selfish motive.
- Be present and specific. While the value of staying present is very popular in today’s culture, the need to remain specific is not, but “should” be. We use specifics in architecture, all fields of science, music, engineering, medicine, and cooking, but were not taught to stay specific in our thinking and communicating. We can handle any problem if we stay focused on just that without bringing in the kitchen sink. We can be understood, find workable solutions, and maintain a healthy perspective if we stay concrete.
Positive Thoughts for an Attitude Reconstruction
And how do we learn to live by these three constructive Ultimate Attitudes? With vigilance and practice. That means interrupting the tendency to resort to the opposite destructive Ultimate Attitudes: (1 getting down on ourselves; 2 not accepting what is with “should” and expectations; and 3 overgeneralizing and hanging out in the future or past) and make another choice. If we stay rooted in what we intuitively know is best, our words, thoughts, and actions will embody that which brings joy, love, and peace.
The way to do this is simple: handle our emotions physically and constructively, keep entertaining constructive thoughts, check within for guidance, communicate following Attitude Reconstructions 4 rules of good communication (“I”s, specifics, kindness, and listening), and act in alignment with our hearts. Each time we do, we feel good. When we make a misstep, make the correction and proceed.