It always feels good to have a personal cheerleader so I suggest you find one! It may not always happen naturally. There are all different types of friendships, and not all will be the right ones for the emotional support you seek.
There is a way to be proactive, and create a positive situation where you and someone else share a needed role for each other. Seeking support from another person might take a little courage. Maybe you’ll feel vulnerable, embarrassed, or concerned about imposing. Do it anyway.
Start by making a list of possible candidates and then choose one. Write out your request first, then feel your fear and dare to ask. If someone declines, don’t take it personally. Just try someone else. Ideally, the person you select will be working on making personal changes too, so you can cheer each other on.
Make contact at the appointed time. Watch out for making excuses not to check in. If you resist, deal with your emotions—shiver, cry or pound, then make the call. You’re both responsible to initiate your check-in, so don’t wait for the other person.
Possible Check-In Format
- One person talks. The other just pays attention and listens. Set a timer so that you stick to the agreed-upon time each person will have.
- Switch roles after the timer goes off.
- Confirm your next check-in time.
- Exchange appreciations.
Create A Supportive Relationship
The support person should NOT to take charge and tell you what to do. If she has her own stake in your changing, she’ll lose the ability to encourage you when you don’t meet her expectations. You want your cheerleader primarily to listen, look for the positive, and, with your permission, kindly point out attitudes or actions that seem counterproductive. If they’re upbeat, empathetic, congratulatory, and reliable, you’ve found the right person. This relationship can help you move your life forward, and can really be beneficial when you are feeling overwhelmed with life.
Some friends naturally do this for each other, but in those cases it is usually done impromptu and without any structure. The way I am suggesting can be even better, and something you and your support person can look forward to each week. It will help each of you feel like you are not alone in the world, and that you are connected to a reasonable, caring voice to help support and guide you through the difficulties and challenges of life.
