Stay Specific For Goodness Sakes!


It’s wonderful to know that regardless of how much life experience we have, we’re always growing and expanding.

This last week, a friend told me something off-putting about an employee of mine. Rather than staying specific and asking for more information, the next day I said to her, “I’m thinking about letting Suzy go.”

Before I knew it, I found myself getting frustrated, aka anger, because my friend was not reacting the way I wanted her to. She was turning the conversation away from Suzy and on to regretting that she shared the information with me.

This leap was a good example about not “staying specific.” I leapt from what she said to being ready to bail on Suzy. My friend jumped from what I said to an entire different topic.

Gosh, she was annoying at that moment. She was testing my patience and skills…

Instead of going down that slippery slope, I could have said “I’d like us to finish talking about Suzy, and then if you want to talk about your second-thoughts about sharing personal information with me I’d be glad to listen and discuss it.”

I also had jumped from the specific information I received to the conclusion to let Suzy go. If I had stuck to the specific, that I was unsettled about what she had told me, the whole interaction would have been different.

I could have said “I found myself ruminating over what you said about Suzy yesterday and would like to talk more about what you said.”

Being vigilant to stay specific would have saved us both from getting derailed and kept the conversation constructive and on point. And we both would have felt connected rather than separated by misunderstanding.

Does this remind you of any situations in your own life? If so, feel free to share your story on Facebook at


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